Free Fiction Friday

The Kitchen of Terror: a penny dreadful (excerpt)

By Michael Yoder

Copyright 2021, Michael Yoder

April and May sat in the parlor of April's Victorian Mansion, drinking tea. The mansion was well-fitted with the original fixtures including the forest green wallpaper that supposedly contained arsenic, but April did not believe this to be true, regardless that she often suffered from fainting spells, nausea and debilitating headaches.

April was very pleased with her purchase of the property. It was a five bedroom, three bath home that she bought for fifteen thousand dollars following the brutal slaying of a family of five. The family had been murdered by the Nanny, who apparently did not appreciate being locked in a cupboard in the attic. The story, as reported in the local media, tells how the Nanny escaped the cupboard by chewing her way through the door, making her way to the kitchen and then bludgeoning each family member with a dessert spoon as they lay sleeping and then committing suicide by drinking vinegar and baking soda until she exploded on the front porch. Some said the house was haunted, but April believe this simply added to its charm.

"The house really is lovely!" said May sipping her Oolong. "And I simply adore the tattered old curtains! It's provides a certain ambience!"

"Thank you, May," said April. "It came with all the furnishings, Such a shame about the family, but then again if it weren't for this tragedy I'd still be living in that tasteless one bedroom apartment with the coved ceilings and 1970s fun flower wall paper and orange shag carpeting. That was more than I could handle psychologically."

Just then, May and April heard a tremendous crash coming from the kitchen. The sound of pots and pans being thrown about the room, crashing to the floor.

"Oh, dear!" cried May. "What a dreadful noise! Should we investigate?"

April took a sip of tea and replied, "Yes. I suppose we must, although it may just be a stray raccoon or serial killer."

The ladies finished their tea, put down their bone china cups and carefully made their way to the kitchen, May clutching April by the elbow. The hallways were dark: mahogany paneling, wainscoting and portraits of long-dead dead people who were of no relation to April or even the previous tenants, but added an element of Victorian gloom to the place. The kitchen was at the end of this long hallway and just near the old servants' quarters.

As they neared the kitchen, May asked, "Do you think it might be a spirit?"

"Oh, heavens!" replied April. "I don't believe in those things. One might as well believe that Prince Charles will be king one day!"

Crash! Another pot or pan or other cooking utensil seemed to smash against the floor which caused the women to start with a fright!

They cautiously peered around the corner of the kitchen door. Looking around they noticed - nothing. There were no pots or pans strewn on the floor, no broken dishes, nothing at all was different about the room. With the exception of one thing: the smell.

"Do you smell that?" asked April.

"Yes," answered May. "It's the smell of apple pie: cinnamon and cloves."

"That's strange," commented April. "I smell chocolate cake."

"Very strange..." replied May.

They turned and looked at each other for one moment and then turned again to look into the kitchen. Both women gasped in terror! Where in the previous moment nothing was different about the room, now every cupboard door and drawer were pulled fully open and the pots and pans and spoons and other utensils were stacked in the sink, covered in ingredients from the baking someone had finished. There on the open window sill was a steaming apple pie and on the counter, a chocolate cake.

May turned to April and said, "I believe you have spirits in your house."

"Yes," said April. "It's quite upsetting."

"Quite," replied May.

"They didn't even clean the dishes..." sighed April.